Inner Banks Laughter - Blond Humor

A blond calls her boyfriend and says, "Please come over here and help me. I have a killer jigsaw puzzle, and I can't figure out how to get it started."

Her boyfriend asks, "What is it supposed to be when it's finished?"

The blond says, "According to the picture on the box, it's a tiger." Her boyfriend decides to go over and help with the puzzle.

She lets him into her apartment and shows him the puzzle spread all over the table. He studies the pieces for a moment, then looks at the box.

He then turns to her and says, "First of all, no matter what we do, we're not going to be able to assemble these pieces into anything resembling a tiger."

He takes her hand and says, "Secondly, I want you to relax. Let's have a nice cup of tea, and then.....he sighed, "Let's put all these Frosted Flakes back in the box............"

Inner Banks Laughter - Child Humor

A small boy is sent to bed by his father.

Five minutes later..."Da-ad...""What?" "I'm thirsty. Can you bring me a drink of water?" "No. You had your chance. Lights out.

"Five minutes later: "Da-aaaad..." "WHAT?""I'm THIRSTY. Can I have a drink of water??" "I told you NO! If you ask again, I'll have to spank you!!"

Five minutes later...Daaaa-aaaad..." "WHAT??!!" "When you come in to spank me, can you bring me a drink of water?"

Inner Banks Laughter - Married Humor

A woman awoke during the night to find that her husband was not in bed. She put on her robe and went downstairs. He was sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appeared to be in deep thought, just staring at the wall. She saw him wipe a tear from his eye and take a sip of his coffee. "What's the matter dear? Why are you down here at this time of night?" she asked.

"Do you remember twenty years ago when we were dating and you were only 16?" he asked. "Yes, I do," she replied.

"Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car?" "Yes, I remember."

"Do you remember when he shoved that shotgun in my face and said, 'Either you marry my daughter or spend twenty years in jail?" "Yes, I do," she said.

He wiped another tear from his cheek and said, "You know...I would have gotten out today."

Carpenter’s Tools - Do Your Little Thingy . . . . .

By Pastor Wallace Phillips – October 1st, 2006


This past week I gathered with the saints at Carpenter’s Shop Church for a Wedding Ceremony. It was the renewal of vows for Roland and Shirleen Garcia. Just prior to the ceremony the halls and offices were filled with people who were finding their places; preparing for their special roles in this joyous occasion.

My dear friend Jacob Terry was dressed and ready for his part as Ring Bearer. I looked at him and asked, “So..are you ready for your lines, Jacob? Do you know your lines?” He replied, “What?” You could see the surprise look on his face just at the thought of having to say something in the wedding.

I remarked, “Jacob, that’s what I do every week. I have to get on the stage and make sure I know my lines.” He said, “Yeah, you have to get up there and do your little thingy.” I’m not sure what I have employed to keep the minds and the attention of the younger ones, but somehow along the way, Jacob has assured me that I “do my thing” just right. He told me one day that he thought I was a good preacher. Thanks Jacob! Thanks for being my friend. Thanks for being comfortable enough around your pastor to make ministry fun. Thanks for being a wonderful example of servanthood at a young age. You are an inspiration. Keep smilin’!

And let me remind you readers this week…”whatever you do, whether in word or in deed, do it all unto Christ.” Do your thingy!

Please visit us on the web at http://www.cscministries.com/ or http://www.wallacephillips.org/

RTCC - Hears Inner Banks Scenic Parkway Presentation

The Peanut Belt RPO, Rural Technical Coordinating Committee met today for their regular planning session. Starting the meeting, Dean Stephens, spokesman for the Inner Banks Scenic Parkway Task Force made a presenation on the concept that the task force is promoting for economic development in the Inner Banks.

Peanut Belt RPO - RTCC Members

Click on the Title to link to the Scenic Parkway web site.

Inner Banks Laughter - Hunting Humor

The Wednesday-night church service coincided with the last day of hunting season. Our pastor asked who had bagged a deer. No one raised a hand. Puzzled, the pastor said, "I don't get it. Last Sunday many of you said you were missing because of hunting season. I had the whole congregation pray for your deer."

One hunter groaned, "Well, it worked Pastor. They're all safe."

Carpenter’s Tools - Harvest Time! . . . . .

By Pastor Wallace Phillips – September 30th, 2006


I love this time of year. Just yesterday I made the trek to Perquimans County; my homeland. I saw the combines in the fields harvesting corn. My mind went back to the days of my youth. I was one of ten boys hired to chop peanuts; ridding them of Morning Glory, Nut Grass, Broadleaf Signal Grass, and the like. Some rows were bad and some were not so bad. We made our way across that field and the next taking away the hindrances to growth and development of a hopeful 5000 pound per acre yield in those days.

At the conclusion of a couple of weeks, Ed Nixon told our ten-man troop that the job was coming to a close. Everyone’s last day would be Friday; that is everyone’s except mine. He slipped over to me and asked if I would be willing to stay on. I excitedly told him I would and he kept me from that day when I was 12 years old until I finished college at N.C. State. He was my influence that took me to the home of the Wolfpack! I moved a long way from pulling weeds from the goober patch. I broke land, made rows, planted, cultivated, sprayed, and finally …..harvested. That was the fun. I can still remember peeping through the tiny window to see the grain fall into the hopper. It was much fun to see the rewards of our labor as we filled the bins with corn. We were harvesting the reward of our labor.

The harvest time reminds me of those days on the Nixon farm. Ed and the gang taught me how to farm. There were standards and procedures to follow, yet we still had to have the blessing of God. The same is true of harvest in the Kingdom of God. You have the standards and procedures in the Word of God. You still need the blessing of the Lord and the anointing of the Holy Spirit to bring the harvest in that He desires. It’s harvest time and the fields are ripe according to the Lord. The need is for the reapers. Are you one?

Please visit us on the web at http://www.cscministries.com/ or http://www.wallacephillips.org/