Carpenter’s Tools - One Potato, Two Potato….

By Pastor Wallace Phillips - July 28th, 2006

“One potato, two potato, three potato four….” Remember that one? I do. I think of it each time our ministry gives those taters’ away. We had the honor of doing so on Monday, July 31st. It’s a blessing to see individuals come into our parking lot to pick up a fifty pound sack of spuds. Everyone can use potatoes. Considering the price of gas today, I think everyone qualifies as having a need for some help with the food bill.

I thank the Lord for the opportunity that we have to be a blessing to the masses several times a year. It’s amazing to see over 40,000 pounds of potatoes given away in a couple of hours. They go like “hot cakes”. I wonder if we could give away some of them?

The Lord tells us that it is better to give than to receive. I ‘m thoroughly convinced that the blessing of the Lord is upon our ministry because we have an open hand in many ways. Just this past week we were able to bless a church with some chairs. We weren’t using them. So…we blessed a new church with some seating. One seat, two seats, three seats, four…. The blessing goes on.

What do you have that you can give to the Kingdom of God? Maybe you can evaluate your personal inventory. Liquidate some of the things that you don’t need and get them in the hands of someone who can use them. You have been given much and “to whom much is given, much is required.” Have an awesome week and remember the blessing of the Lord. Count them one by one. One blessing, two blessings, three blessings, four……

They are never-ending.


Please visit us on the web at http://www.cscministries.com/ or http://www.wallacephillips.org/

Inner Banks Laughter - The Stella Awards

This is the final installment of this years winners of the Stella Awards, named after 81 year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled hot coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonald's (in NM). That case inspired the Stella Awards for the most frivolous, ridiculous, successful lawsuits in the United States:

This week THE GRAND WINNER for this year!

FIRST PLACE:

This year's runaway winner was Mrs. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Mrs. Grazinski purchased a brand new 32-foot Winnebago motor home. On her first trip home, (from an OU football game), having driven onto the freeway, she set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver's seat to go into the back & make herself a sandwich. Not surprisingly, the RV left the freeway, crashed and overturned.

Mrs.Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising her in the owner's manual that she couldn't actually do this. The jury awarded her $1,750,000 plus a new motor home. The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit, just in case there were any other complete morons around.

Carpenter’s Tools - I Remember Floyd . . . .

By Pastor Wallace Phillips - July 21st, 2006


Today, my heart is heavy as I write this column. Usually I sit for a few moments and sometimes ponder the question – What shall I write? Not today. It’s easy; for just hours ago I stood beside the bed of a dear friend who was easily and peacefully ushered into eternity. He died just moments before our arrival. William Floyd Castelloe leaves behind a legacy of serving the Lord.

He loved God. He loved music. He loved people. He loved the church. He loved sermons. He loved Pentecostal passion. He loved to laugh and to make others do so as well. Among his loves, and at the top of the list – His wife and daughter. Mary Ann and Carla will cherish tremendous memories of their beloved husband and father.

Today there is an empty place in the hearts of many – one that held the name of “Floyd.” After my return from a ministry sabbatical, I come home to lose a precious woman of God in the life of Annie Gray Jenkins, and now, Floyd. It reminds me of how life is. The Bible says that “life is like a vapor; it appears for a moment and then it vanishes away.” You and I must remember just how short life is.

We are here only a brief time. We need make every moment count. It reminds me of the little saying that I read on a brightly colored sign while on my time off - “Dance like nobody’s watching.” You and I need to pour the passion of life into everything that we do. Why? Because we are here today and gone tomorrow. We need to make every moment count.

Floyd lived life fully. He gave his soul to Jesus, his love to family, and his heart to mankind. I remember Floyd…..and smile.


Please visit us on the web at http://www.cscministries.com/ or http://www.wallacephillips.org/

Inner Banks Laughter - The Stella Awards

Next installment of the Stella Awards, named after 81 year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled hot coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonald's (in NM). That case inspired the Stella Awards for the most frivolous, ridiculous, successful lawsuits in the United States:

This is the third installment of this years winners. This week 2nd and 3rd place.

2ndPlace:
Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware, successfully sued the owner of a night club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out her two front teeth. This occurred while Ms. Walton was trying to sneak through the window in the ladies room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge . She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses

3rd Place:
A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania, $113,500. after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier during an argument.

Inner Banks Laughter - The Stella Awards

Second installment of the Stella Awards, named after 81 year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled hot coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonald's (in NM). That case inspired the Stella Awards for the most frivolous, ridiculous, successful lawsuits in the United States:

This is the second installment of this years winners. This week 4th place.

4th Place:
Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas, was awarded $14,500. and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor's beagle. The beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been just a little provoked at the time by Mr. Williams who had climbed over the fence into the yard and was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.

Carpenter's Tools – All Dressed Up and…..

by Pastor Wallace Phillips

You’ve heard it I’m quite sure - “All dressed up and no place to go”. That’s the title I’m using for my second book, scheduled to be available in February of 2007. It chronicles some headline stories of actual things that are keeping people from the house of the Lord today. Racial prejudice, socio-economic pressure, and even health issues keep people from an active and vibrant experience of corporate worship. They’re dressed in spirit, but lack the openness of the local church to be fulfilled in that awesome corporate design that God’s stamp of approval is upon. He said, “Forsake not the assembling of yourselves together…” in the Book of Hebrews.

Some are not welcome in the local gathering because of race. Some are not welcome in the worship setting because they don’t rate with the rest in the house in terms of finance. Others cannot find a place of worship that will minister to God’s special people who find themselves mentally challenged. They are dressed and ready to go, but can they find an open place of worship where their needs are met?

Pray with me on the completion of my writing assignment. I’ve taken a some time away to do just that and covet your prayers. In the mean time, make certain that your house of worship is open, and open to all.



Please visit us on the web at http://www.cscministries.com/ or http://www.wallacephillips.org/

Inner Banks Laughter - The Stella Awards

I have agonized over this for a while, and finally chosen which of my blogs to post this information on. This first posting is actually a part of a long term plan to get more humor on my blogs. In most ways the Stella Awards belong on the Rule of Law blog since it deals with my views on the courts and the Stella Awards are completely about the nations courts. However I also realize that there is political side to these awards and so they could appropriately go on the Inner Banks Eagle as well. That is my editorial site where we cover the current ideological discussions about our nation and the world. However neither of those sites is meant to be a joke, notwithstanding that many of the articles about our courts and our nations politics could be viewed as such!

However having decided to regularly post humor I have chosen this site, the Roanoke-Chowan Patriot as my blog for humor. The Roanoke-Chowan Patriot is the place where I have posted most of my "views" on religion, especially the insightful comments of Pastor Wallace Phillips. Recently I received an email that talked about the two most beneficial things people can read. Views on faith was one. Humor was the second. Both of these allow people to relax and feel better about themselves and their lives by laughing at our human condition. That makes sense to me to me. Since the Roanoke-Chowan Patriot is where I have been dealing with faith, I decided that this was the place for humor as well.

So here we go, starting with this years Stella Awards!

Stella Awards are named after 81 year-old Stella Liebeck who spilled hot coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonald's (in NM). That case inspired the Stella Awards for the most frivolous, ridiculous, successful lawsuits in the United States:

I will be posting all of this year's winners, and we are starting with 5th place winners this week

5th Place (tie):
Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas, was awarded $80,000. by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving little toddler was Ms. Robertson's son.

5th Place (tie):
19-year-old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently didn't notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal his neighbor's hubcaps.

5th Place (tie):
Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania, was leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He couldn't re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation, and Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for eight days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found, and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The jury agreed, to the tune of $500,000.

If you think these are ridiculous, wait for the first place winner!

Carpenter's Tools - Don’t Sweat the Small Stuff! . . . .

by Pastor Wallace Phillips

Well, I have personal experience to back up the quote, "Don’t sweat the small stuff." This past week I was trying to vacate a little from ministry and writing as I am working on my second book and trying to meet a publishing deadline. I wanted a few days to enjoy the water along the beautiful Chowan River and what do you know – RAIN, RAIN, RAIN. Well, the same time I am longing for some dry days to hit the water there is a farmer out there some where praying, "God, please….please….please send some rain upon these crops, Lord!" And sure enough, I am reminded that the Bible declares, "It rains upon the just and the unjust." I learned to relax and enjoy the rain.

The rains came to an end and I was able to hit the water and enjoy some boating….when all of a sudden, the boat quit. Oh no! The first day I’m able to get out here and we are sitting in the middle of the beautiful Chowan BROKE DOWN! Friends came to the rescue and we are back in business again. Don’t sweat the small stuff. It’s the little foxes the spoil the vines. But we must remember that our lives are governed by a power bigger than us. "All things work together for the good of them who love the Lord" according to Paul in Romans 8:28.

And guess what? I’m in the right place at the right time and I’m EXPECTING HIS DIVINE BLESSING cause I ain’t about to sweat the small stuff. Enjoy your week in rain or shine.


Please visit us on the web at http://www.cscministries.com/ or http://www.wallacephillips.org/